Thursday, May 31, 2007

Response to "Female Cheetahs Sleep around"


Sluts!!!!

However, I do not understand the following about this article:

1. Are there cheetah VDs?: "Mating with more than one male poses a serious threat to females, increasing the risk of exposure to parasites and diseases."

2. Since when do we assign moral categories to a cheetah (and to all cats for that matter)?: "This is good news for conservation as the genetic diversity of future generations of cheetah will be preserved by their duplicitous behavior." (Sarah Durant, leader of the Serengeti Cheetah Project since 1991) - Sarah Durant is the real slut here.

Do you think the male cheetah gives a shit where he sticks his winkle, or a female thinks about her honor and fidelity? Do you really think he's thinking, "Where the fuck was this slut last night? Duplicity! Infidelity!" and she, "I wonder if Frederick has a bigger dick than George."

In the end, I'm really hoping this article is a joke because it makes the most promiscuous assumptions and comes to the most duplicitous conclusions.

Has anyone else noticed the (false) cognates: cheetah - cheater? *Cuckoos also are sluts by a similar logic.

4 comments:

J*E*F^2 said...

The thing thats now bothering me the most is that cheetah's are named mundane names like Frederick and George. I thought they'd get cool names, like John Throttle, or John Littleberries, or John Bigbootay.

(One of those names wasn't from Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension. can you guess which one?)

Hey Jealousy said...

Are there any tell tale signs I should be looking for to see if my cheetah has been sleeping around?

Math fab Mathonwy said...

Jeff: cheetahs have kings' names. Tigers and foxes have pornstar names.

Yes, Chu, there are many signs. Such as loose cheetah va-jay-jay and cheetahmydia (and other cheetah VDs).

J*E*F^2 said...

I dunno about cheetahs and kings' names. Aren't those reserved for Lions? You're right about foxes and stripper names, though.