The internet

Its not a web, its not a net, its a sea. No one can really fathom the depth of Mother Internet. Gone are the days when you could visit virtually every site, or feel you've a good grasp of what each bbs has to offer. It has everything. We've explored more of the ocean's depths than the internet itself.

Currently I'm yammering pointless to my friends, waxing spiritual about a technological/military by product while loading not one, not two, but... ok I'll cut to the chase four episodes of the west wing. The West Wing was produced here in the US. Distributed on DVD's manufactured God knows where to China. A hacker in norway(IIRC) was the first to beat the encryption codes they use on DVD's which allowed a, I believe Niponese person to rip the episode off the dvd, load it onto a website (hosted in parts of asia unknown to me). From there a person in the UK set up a website that is hosted in the domican republic where the links from the Asian website are compiled for English speakers. That's the internet!

I've never laid eyes on my manager. I've never spent a dime on mailing him my scripts. I don't need to move to LA. I don't want to. That's the internet.

I've gotten into this comic book called Fables. Buying them over the net, with no shipping and cheaper than in book store every third book is free. I forgot my dad's birthday so I found an old baseball card he had as a kid that I bid for on ebay and can send for him for two dollars. I'm also going to watch another TV show that I missed on Tuesday cause of the game and a DVD I rented from a website. I probably won't watch all of these things tonight, especially not if I get into my book I first heard about when researching a topic I was interested in on wikipedia.

And lets not forget the porn. Although the example I'm going to site isn't my personal cup of tea it is remarkable. Somewhere, right now, a porn star is strapped to a table. She's surrounded by webcam. Internet users can log onto the site and use the various dildos and things attached to the table on the porn star. This isn't particularly enticing to me, but, my god, talk about interactive! That's one studderstep away from actually being able to fully simulate sex. Remarkable! I bet before we hit forty we will be able to don suits and, even if we don't want to engage in eroticism, interact in a simulated physical way. I happen to think Second life is silly and boring but imagine the application of teledildonics (I really wish that wasn't the actual term) being applied to video games. Or a bachelor party were all of the strippers have been programed to look like the grooms X-gf's. (Get on it, Chu!)

And whats more, we're moving ever steadily to having computers that interact directly with our brains. Right now there have been advances made that allow a quadriplegic man to literally just think about where he wants the mouse to move and it goes there. No eye flicks, no voice recognition. Thought. Thought directed movement. Combine this with wi-fi networks and boom. You will have the ability to access anything at any time. Physically you are at work, but your mind is watching old episodes of Seinfeld and your genitals think they're being licked by that attractive X of yours you've been day dreaming of lately. You live a hundred miles from your best friend but you're thinking through IM with each other and planning your next vacation. kayak.com's got the cheapest airfare and you're reasonable sure Priceline can get you the cheapest room.

In the meantime, I've begun talking to my cousin. I haven't seen him since he was, oh I don't know, 16 or so. But because of Facebook I can talk to him as much as I like. He seems like more or less my polar opposite but none the less a good guy. Its nice to know. I was worried about that.

So.. anyway, the internet is sort of like sea food. I'm sure there are hundreds of fish I'd hate to eat. BUt if you know where to look, bam, linguine in red clam sauce. Don't like sea urchin? Pow, broiled lobster. Thwack, spicy crunchy salmon. And lets not forget Tuna Tartar.

Hmm. apparently I'm hungry. It should also be noted that I used the internet to answer questions I didn't know no less than three times while typing this. Mainly helping guest find their destinations (thank you google maps!).