Tuesday, July 31, 2007

R. Kells Trapped In the Closet Chapter 12.5


So my hero and yours, THE Motherf-ing Kellz has posted a teaser to the next set of chapters of Trapped In The Closet.


You can watch the 2 minute video here. The video shows Kellz in a glorious heavenly epic white suit recounting what has happened in each chapter followed by "OH Shit". Like I said glorious.
Let the countdown to the release of the next chapters begin!!!!

Kitten Has Broken An Axle


Monday, July 30, 2007

George Sr.'s Boy Fights has Gone International!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/6920817.stm

Friday, July 27, 2007

The Ten

Here is the trailer for David Wain's new movie The Ten. It has a rediculous cast and looks pretty genius.




So check it check it out.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

I caught them paving outside my room in blocks. (etiological poem)

I caught them paving outside my room in blocks.
The noise and fumes came up from the banging tar.
I spied them through the screen, the ones I never replaced
were dirty, and looked like fish-net.

(I went to the park, but I felt bad for my cat.
His whiskers are long and his ears had gone flat back.
But there were so many dogs at the park, he would have felt left out.)

And then at the park I played Tetris on an old, black Gameboy;
And I practiced turning and fitting and getting too high.
Too much ambition for four at a time:
Mhurrmur Arc Towards Triforce.

Would you call me any different if my name only had one T?

Cultural Phenomena

Paving:






Cultural Phenomena

Love in the park:



Wednesday, July 25, 2007

NEW TRAPPED IN THE CLOSET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Normally I don't like to post so quickly after my last post, so people might actually read the one before, but this cannot wait. We have official details on the next TEN chapters will be released on DVD August 21st.

BILLBOARD LINK (seriously click this, there is some crazy shit mentioned).

I'm saying right now, that the weekend after will simply have to be an R Kelly screening/party/double-up jam in either Maine or my place. I'll figure out the specifics this weekend when I'm back in Mass, but mark that shit down on your calendar because you ARE coming back for this (unless you already are close, then you're staying!).

Michael Cera 4 Ever!

The people can't get enough of Michael Cera!

Soooo

When we initially started this up we were joking about namining it sociopolitics.com, with that in mind, Who you guys feeling in the Presidential race for 2008?

The Ending of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

I think it was lame. I can't believe she made Voldemort Harry's father and Hermione turns out to be his twin sister or that in a flash back we find out that Voldemort built C3-P0.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

The Rules of Metal

hey guys, I'M IN THE DESERT!!!!!! I've been hanging out with a metal-head the past two weeks in beautiful (sarcasm alert!) Ridgecrest, CA and I've learned a lot. Like the rules of metal.

I had to steal these rules from an ancient, mystic book. There are like, a lot of them, so this is installment one.

1) Everything can be broken down into Boolean: True or False
Examples:
Blasting classical music in your car is true.
Wearing leather pants at a show is false (unless you’re an 80s rocker)
Children of Bodom are true.
Nu metal is false.
Waffle House is True
Midgets are true
Mr. T and the A-Team Van are True

As a bonus feature, here is a secret Cannibal Corpse music video that the world was never meant to see! :0

Monday, July 23, 2007

A prayer for Harry Potter: Alexander Pope's "Universal Prayer"



Father of all! In every age,
In ev'ry clime ador'd,
By saint, by savage, and by sage,
Jehovah, Jove, or Lord!

Thou Great First Cause, least understood,
Who all my sense confin'd
To know but this, that Thou art good,
And that myself am blind:

Yet gave me, in this dark estate,
To see the good from ill;
And, binding Nature fast in Fate,
Left free the human Will.

What Conscience dictates to be done,
Or warns me not to do;
This teach me more than Hell to shun,
That more than Heav'n pursue.

What blessings thy free bounty gives
Let me not cast away;
For God is paid when man receives;
T' enjoy is to obey.

Yet not to earth's contracted span
Thy goodness let me bound,
Or think thee Lord alone of man,
When thousand worlds are round.



Let not this weak, unknowing hand
Presume thy bolts to throw,
And teach damnation round the land
On each I judge thy foe.

If I am right, thy grace impart,
Still in the right to stay;
If I am wrong, O teach my heart
To find that better way.

Save me alike from foolish Pride
Or impious Discontent,
At aught thy wisdom has denied,
Or aught that goodness lent.

Teach me to feel another's woe,
To right the fault I see:
That mercy I to others show,
That mercy show to me.

Mean tho' I am, not wholly so,
Since quicken'd by thy breath;
O lead me whereso'er I go,
Thro' this day's life or death!

This day be bread and peace my lot:
All else beneath the sun
Though know'st if best bestow'd or not,
And let Thy will be done.

To Thee, whose temple is of Space,
Whose altar earth, sea, skies,
One chorus let all Beings raise!
All Nature's incense rise!



Wu-Tang is here forever, mother fuckers. Peace to the entire zulu nation. And Hogwarts.

Saturday, July 21, 2007

****Spoiler Alert!!*****

I can't believe that Bryan Chu is a deatheater. That's such bullshit!

Friday, July 20, 2007

dan investigates - real cats, fake rabbits

its a big topic in the news these days: real cats hanging out with fake rabbits. the conglomerate news stations have covered the topic from a national and international perspective, but they all lack a certain local flavor. i thought it was about time we took a closer look at what these intensely personal, socially taboo, and often sexually dangerous relationships are truly all about. Here is what I found...

A lot of times its about sniffing (usually cat does the sniffing)





























Another regular activity is napping or resting together (cat was most often found to be large spoon)




















Other times it just about being fat together (think support groups)


















Often when the animals realize they are being photographed for a news story, there is panic








I








In the oddest cases, a fake rabbit will actually befriend a fake cat


















In the end, this reporter found the real cat, fake rabbit relationships to be as real as any real cat, real rabbit matrimony he has witnessed in 16 years of investigatory journalism. There are lessons to be learned from all of life's experiences, sometimes you just need an open mind, some slow cats, and an average to great collection of fake rabbits.

Actual T-Shirt Worn By My Co-Worker Michael, Who Does Tech Support

I'M WITH MS. RIGHT

I Just Didn't Know Her First Name Was Always

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Cetology 4 (matt investigates: whales)

The Deep (The Pilot Whale)



"...Lulled into such an opium-like listlessness of vacant, unconscious reverie is this absent-minded youth by the blending cadence of waves with thoughts, that at last he loses his identity; takes the mystic ocean at his feet for the visible image of that deep, blue, bottomless soul, pervading mankind and nature; and every strange, half-seen, gliding, beautiful thing that eludes him; every dimly-discovered, uprising fin of some undiscernible form, seems to him the embodiment of those elusive thoughts that only people the soul by continually flitting through it. In this enchanted mood, thy spirit ebbs away to whence it came; becomes diffused through time and space; like Cranmer's sprinkled Pantheistic ashes, forming at last a part of every shore the round globe over.

"There is no life in thee, now, except that rocking life imparted by a gently rolling ship; by her, borrowed from the sea; by the sea, from the inscrutable tides of God. But while this sleep, this dream is on ye, move your foot or hand an inch; slip your hold at all; and your identity comes back in horror. Over Descartian vortices you hover. And perhaps, at mid-day, in the fairest weather, with one half-throttled shriek you drop through that transparent air into the summer sea, no more to rise for ever. Heed it well, ye Pantheists!"

Cetology 3 (matt investigates: whales)

The Spout (The Blue Whale)



("My object here is simply to project the draught of a systematization of Cetology. I am the architect, not the builder... God keep me from ever completing anything. This whole book is but a draught --nay, but the draught of a draught. Oh Time, Strength, Cash, and Patience!")

Here's a link to Ishmael's cetology:
http://www.worldwideschool.org/library/books/lit/adventure/MobyDick/chap32.html

Cetology 2 (matt investigates: whales)

The Breach (The Fin Whale)

Cetology 1 (matt investigates: whales)

I'm currently reading Moby Dick and am obsessed with these friendly giants. So I draw them. Here are the names in order:

1. The Birth (The Narwhale)

2. The White (The Right Whale)

3. The Leviathan (The Sperm Whale)



Tuesday, July 17, 2007

dan investigates - CALIFORNIA!

so guys i just wanted to say thanks for sending me on a trip to see what's up in california. i was pretty jealous that stylesightings sent ash to the hamptons but then you guys came back with the california offer, and well, let me just say i am proud to be an ourblogisdifferent employee (obidloyee). and its a damn good thing i went because stuff ISSS happening out there. let's start with the smog report. California has smog! So much so in fact that they have lil smog check points where you can assess the evironmental full-blown AIDS factor of your auto. The best part is, the smog points are adorable! Just look at this one and tell me smog doesn't earn some cute little munchkin points : P.









Another thing that California ALSO has going on is chihuahuas! Look at these candid shots i snapped of all different parts of chihuahuas*!































And here is a picture of one of nappa valley's legendary jazz singers jennifer aniston robinson. Though she doesn't look it in this picture, she's as black as a small african child covered in hot tar and crow feathers. Her smooth mix of r&b and sex-driven jazz has stolen the hearts of men across the globe. she drinks Stone IPA because its gets her drunk.












Okay and for the finale of my cali report here is a picture of (drumroll) BRIAN DESIMONE! I saw him for 6.5 minutes on the corner of 16th and Mission on Sunday at 10:05 am. He was still drunk from the night before! And he says hi to everyone and he didn't appreciate the noogie i gave him at Jeff's request.

It's over!!















BONUS PICS:
baby hawk in my backyard
marty trying to kiss ray on the T and ray not having any of that (backlight for effect)
oysters i ate at B&G



























*just one chihuahua in different places and poses

White Rabbit!

This Is What Jesus Looks Like.