The Rules of Metal

hey guys, I'M IN THE DESERT!!!!!! I've been hanging out with a metal-head the past two weeks in beautiful (sarcasm alert!) Ridgecrest, CA and I've learned a lot. Like the rules of metal.

I had to steal these rules from an ancient, mystic book. There are like, a lot of them, so this is installment one.

1) Everything can be broken down into Boolean: True or False
Examples:
Blasting classical music in your car is true.
Wearing leather pants at a show is false (unless you’re an 80s rocker)
Children of Bodom are true.
Nu metal is false.
Waffle House is True
Midgets are true
Mr. T and the A-Team Van are True

As a bonus feature, here is a secret Cannibal Corpse music video that the world was never meant to see! :0