Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Kurt "I'm awesome and dead" Vonnegut

Hi.

Last night I started a new art series at Ashley's insistance (threat?). I was thinking of a series of mid-century(ish) portaits. I REALLY liked how my first piece, the one for Ashley and Matt, came out, so I kept going and created the picture below tonight:



Its not as similar to my first piece as I would have expected, so it should hopefully still be surprisingly awesome if I ever find a way to print it and give it out. Anyway, let me know what you guys think, because I've never bothered doing art before.

Asian me






!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! In order: asian, botticelli, baby, old.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Asian Matt?


This is what I imagine Matt would look like if he was asian! Shall we agree to disagree?


LCD Soundsystem - All My Friends

Monday, June 25, 2007

Gold Tooth/Squigle

Here is series of drawings I made tonight when I couldn't find any articles on how to compile Actionscript 3.0 I had made with a text editor. Bummer. Anyway, the series involves golden teeth and squigles. Also the word Groovy?




Sunday, June 24, 2007

It's happening people!


The moment we've all feared! It's here! Joblessness will skyrocket! I will have to live in Jeff's basement like some sort of troll (oddly enough I predicted this in the 8th grade, only I said attic). And its only a matter of time before they start killing everything! Why else would it hold a drill liket hat? Oh, dear God, why didn't we listen to Asimov?

http://www.geekologie.com/2007/06/hrp3_promet_mkii_bluecollar_ro.php

So its come to this...


Son wants a dog, daughter wants a pony? Finally an answer we can all live with...


June 18, 2007

Donkey Kong


You’ve tried Buns of Steel, Yogilates, and spinning.

And you still don’t have the small ass you’ve been dreaming of.

Try a different approach: Get yourself a mini donkey. Rhetta McAlister breeds the adorable things on her Spicewood, Texas ranch. Each named for a country music legend, the national champion asses grow to be just 30 to 32 inches tall and need only an acre of land on which to roam.

And, of course, they make great pets. Native to Sicily and Sardinia, they are known for their quiet, affectionate temperament. Mini donks are easier to train than ponies, get along with other livestock, and are useful for carrying supplies (or tired kids under 100 pounds) on hikes. Plus, they are low maintenance (a diet of grass, weeds, and hay) and thrive in just about any climate.

Obtaining an animal is going to cost you around $900-$3,500.

So this ass won’t put you in the hole.

Friday, June 22, 2007

The Bestest Shirt Ever!


You got any cheeeeeeeseeee?


Remember that awesome line from TGIF's hit show Family Matters Ties Growing Pains Full House?!?!?!


Well now you can get the illest of ill shirts that has your friend and mine Steven K. Urkel on it. This shirt will cause riots due to its hilarious awesomeness.


Peace and Love and Understanding, What's so wrong with it?


4real.

This makes me lose faith in humanity for two reasons. 1, a government should not be able to tell you what to name your kid under any circumstances. No matter how stupid or offensive the name is. You should be able to name your child Jesus Fuckface Jones if you so choose. But 2, you should not want to name your child things that will retard their progress through life. Regardless of your feelings about the white race, naming your child Hitler Jew-eater McMarris will likely result in him not getting alot of job interviews. Also all your parent teacher conferences would be very awkward.

So yes, this is an attack on two things I hold dear. Freedom and common sense.
And credit where credit is do, Chu pointed this out to me and then mysteriously didn't post about it.

Click this link 4real

Pair told not to name son '4real'

WELLINGTON, New Zealand (AP) -- New Zealand authorities have blocked a couple's bid to officially name their new son "4real," saying numerals are not allowed.

Pat and Sheena Wheaton said they decided to name their new baby "4real" shortly after having an ultrasound and being struck by the reality of his impending arrival.

"For most of us, when we try to figure out what our names mean, we have to look it up in a babies book and ... there's no direct link between the meaning and the name," Pat Wheaton told TV One on Wednesday. "With this name, everyone knows what it means."

But when the parents filed the name with New Zealand's Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages, they were told names beginning with a number were against the rules.

The government office has opened negotiations with the parents about the name under a policy that says all unusual names must be given case-by-case consideration.

"The name has not at this stage been rejected," Registrar-General Brian Clarke said in a statement Thursday. "We are currently in discussions with the parents ... to clarify the situation."

Clarke said the rules are designed to prevent names that are "likely to cause offense to a reasonable person." Satan and Adolf Hitler were proposed names that have been declined, he said.

If no compromise has been reached by July 9, the baby will be registered as "real," officials say.

New Zealand law requires all children born in the South Pacific nation to be registered with the Births, Deaths and Marriages registry within two months of birth.

Thursday, June 21, 2007

The Ultimate!


No I'm not talking about pen15 and vajay-jay!


In a battle royale with cheese battle which song do you believe is better?


Biz Markie's Just a Friend -- vs. -- Positive K's I Got A Man


So which one do you think is better?


Points for Biz Markie:

His Singing

His Mase like rapping (slow rappers are the new/old fast rappers)

His use of OOOOH SNAP!


Points for Positive K

Two rappers for the price of one

His Medium pace rapping (Not tooooo fast and not tooooo slow = Just right?)

I dunno what else but I really like the song


My Vote: Positive K!


The picture has nothing to do with it but it is pretty awesome

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Mosaics Mosaics Videogames




Hey Internerds,

Check out these crazy mosaics. These doods are all artsy fartsy.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Untitled Genre Comedy/Adventure

Tagline: In an apocalyptic future, one teenage boy will use the last internet datagram to search for the Ultimate Prize, the Girls Gone Wild video server.

My general idea is in the near future a virus of some sort wipes out 95% of the worlds population. The survivors remain in small groups. Communications and electricity were wiped out by lack of people to run the infrastructure. There is no internet porn.

The main teenage character lives in a village where he is the only child. One day a stranger stumbles into town, drunk and telling anyone who will listen that he has knows the last packet to travel the internet. The people ignore him, but let him take an abandoned house and give him a job. He and the protagonist becomes friends, which is how the kid learns about the outside world and the secret of the last datagram: it was a trace route from the old guy's old house to the Girls Gone Wild video server.

So the kid goes out into the wild, tracing one router to the next in search of the final server. Along the way he encouters other villages, raiders and funny references to modern culture (for example, when he stumbles upon the Google headquarters, he comes to believe that the leader of Old America was Paris Hilton because she had the most google hits). The sky's the limit, really.

In the end, he finds the server, and he feels kinda like a creep for watching girls get exploited, but otherwise is content.

This is the first of what I hope to be many movie ideas that are posted to this site. Lets all give Scott some really great ideas so that when he uses one we can claim prior rights and sue him. So Scott, I'm giving this script idea to you (*wink*). Somewhere along the line, there should probably be a farting moose or something so fans of Adam Sandler movies will find something to laugh at.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Everyone wish Dan good luck


As he gears up for the national Cooking Mama: Cook Off Finals!

Monday, June 11, 2007

Oh Dear God, Yes!


Finally!
Everyone. Everyone! Let's all thank science for its bounty!

http://www.geekologie.com/2007/06/the_auto_mower.php

Dorks who read comics.


Hey who did I loan my copy of Y: The Last Man book 1 to? Jeff? Chu?

Friday, June 8, 2007

Cute or Cruel, you be the judge.

Thursday, June 7, 2007

Jesus Must Be So Pissed Right Now



You go through all the trouble of growing a tree with bark baring an image of your likeness and everybody thinks its some dumb Mayor guy. Wake up America! Ordinary men do not miraculously appear in common place things like trees, flood damaged walls and burritos/corn chips; only the son of God can do that.

The Hottest Song of the Hott Hawt Summer


Here is a version of Monsieur West's new song where he samples the wonderful, fantabulous amazingness of Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger by Daft Punk. I believe Kanye wrote this song while all messed up on loudes and watching endless hours of E!s coverage of Pete Dougherty. Hence the opening line "Lets get lost 2night. You can be my black Kate Moss 2night." And trying to decide which magenta neon green bape to wear to the hawtest party.

So enjoy the blend of robot music and awesome hip-hop as you soak in the sun.

2Legit2Legit2Quit

KWest - Stronger

Holy Gay Jesus


Online Videos by Veoh.com


Watch the above video then consider...

http://www.veoh.com/videos/e106208j43Ka5gS?searchId=7293289709227951324&rank=14

I see and what can we learn from grapefruit? They're a bitch to open, slightly too large for most people's comfortable grip, they roll all over the damn place, you typically need a spoon to eat them and squirt acidic juice straight up in your face. Perhaps grapefruit were an early banana prototype gone awry. Perhaps they’re the devils fruit or they’ve been put on Earth by God to test our fruit related faith or punish those for the sin of poor digestion. One thing however is certain, Christians do not eat grapefruits.

PS Dear Kirk Cameron, when you became born again you ruined Growing Pains. Way to go pal.

Wednesday, June 6, 2007

Interesting reversal.

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,21864156-1702,00.html

From the article:

'British broadcaster Channel 4 defied Princes William and Harry's emotional plea, and hundreds of calls from concerned viewers, not to show the documentary Diana: The Witnesses in the Tunnel, saying it was a responsible film.'

and from: http://www.pr-inside.com/british-channel-to-air-documentary-on-r145494.htm

'Channel 4 said it would go ahead with the documentary despite pleas from Prince William and Prince Harry not to show pictures taken at the crash scene in Paris on Aug. 31, 1997.'

--------------------

I feel for the princes. Well a little. I hate the very concept of royalty. Maybe this is how my American Patriotism manifests, but make no mistake I do pity them. I also hate paparazzi nearly as much as royals. But my feelings on royalty paparazzi aside I find this very interesting.

I'm not sure how exactly to articulate my ideas on this. On the one hand the British Royal Family has been inundated with unwanted publicity for decades, but on the other I'm sensing a bit of a shift. This isn't the Star, this is Channel 4 that's airing the doc.

And its healthy. This was a public figure of immense (if to me somewhat baffling-just due to the scope) popularity whose death and the details surrounding it are of intense interest (again a little odd to me) to the British people. The event was a huge part of the national consciousness. It the will of the Royals vs. the will of the people.

Ok, I've been so busy at work that I've picked this up and put it down a couple of dozen times. My apologies for the half formed rant. And I admit I probably mainly feel this way because of how much I hate Prince Heinrich.

Here's a photo of awesome dude Prince Harry. Which he never personally apologized for. It'd be one thing for some shmoe to dress up like this, not really a big deal, but when you're perhaps the single most privilege person in the world and a prince to boot who's just joined Britain's most prestigious military academy it is a big freaking deal. If it was jest, that's not clear enough. He didn't do anything to indicate that it was jest. Unforgivable.

Oh HI!!!!1


We all love those pictures of the cats with funny internerds sayings on them, well I just found this totally awesome one.

Gawsh darnit those pink pants are dope.

Tuesday, June 5, 2007

Sadguy

This is sadguy. Click on the teardrop once its done to have it repeat. Cheers.

Sunday, June 3, 2007

Polish Coma Man

If you enjoyed the perogies, you'll love this.



http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/europe/06/02/polish.coma.reut/index.html

Democracy stuns Polish coma man

POSTED: 10:00 a.m. EDT, June 3, 2007

Story Highlights

• Polish railway worker wakes after 19 year coma
• Surprised to find communism is over in East European country
• Remembers country of rationing and lines at gas stations
Adjust font size:
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WARSAW, Poland (Reuters) -- A 65-year-old railwayman who fell into a coma following an accident in communist Poland regained consciousness 19 years later to find democracy and a market economy, Polish media reported on Saturday.

Wheelchair-bound Jan Grzebski, whom doctors had given only two or three years to live following his 1988 accident, credited his caring wife Gertruda with his revival.

"It was Gertruda that saved me, and I'll never forget it," Grzebski told news channel TVN24.

"For 19 years Mrs. Grzebska did the job of an experienced intensive care team, changing her comatose husband's position every hour to prevent bed-sore infections," Super Express reported Dr. Boguslaw Poniatowski as saying.

"When I went into a coma there was only tea and vinegar in the shops, meat was rationed and huge petrol lines were everywhere," Grzebski told TVN24, describing his recollections of the communist system's economic collapse.

"Now I see people on the streets with cell phones and there are so many goods in the shops it makes my head spin."

Grzebski awoke to find his four children had all married and produced 11 grandchildren during his years in hospital.

He said he vaguely recalled the family gatherings he was taken to while in a coma and his wife and children trying to communicate with him.

http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/europe/06/02/polish.coma.reut/index.html


Saturday, June 2, 2007

Another Movie Abstract

What separates the My Big Fat Greek Wedding’s from the Big Girls Don’t Cry’s? Why are some independent films so much more lucrative and so much more marketable then others? In the above example one movie is a wildly successful romantic comedy while the other is a dark revenge story which also explores teenage sexuality and alternative life styles and was filmed in German. For the record My Big Fat Greek Wedding took in over $240 million in domestic box office while Big Girls Don’t Cry took in exactly $1,238.

To be fair this is an extreme example but it illustrates that although there are no guarantees that a movie will find an audience making an educated decision about what kind of movie to invest in greatly reduces your risks. Greek Wedding separated itself from other independent movies by avoiding the typically dark and bleak subject matters that are staples of art-house/indie films.

My Big Fat Greek Wedding’s winning formula was the combination of a good script and good execution in a genre that has proven popular with both audiences and studios. This is the same winning formula that worked for The Blair Witch Project (Horror), Napoleon Dynamite (Comedy), the Full Monty (Comedy), and Little Miss Sunshine (Comedy), all of which were financially successful.

Over the years studios have learned that it is far easier to market comedies, horror movies and family films than it is to market esoteric or foreign films. This isn’t to say that art-house/indie films aren’t wonderful films; it just means that decades of box office data shows they’re not wonderful investments.

Title: Domestic Box Office:

My Big Fat Greek Wedding $240 million

The Blair Witch Project $140 million

Napoleon Dynamite $44.5 million

The Full Monty $45.9 million

Little Miss Sunshine $59.8 million

Friday, June 1, 2007

Michael Cera Webisodes



So Michael Cera is in a new web tv show with his friend Clark Duke. Check it out here cause it is funny bunny.

ClarkandMichael.com

My meanest review ever.

Do not go see Four Lane Highway. Its a terrible movie. When the review goes up on thoughtsonfilm.com I'll let you know.