Here it is Suckahz the mother f-ing R. Kelly extravaganza!!
Well, it seems that the evil genius that is R. Kelly has been quite a busy little fella. From working on new chapters of the R&B Opera Trapped in the Closet to working on 50 million remixes. Here are just a few, with my favorite lines from the superhero known as R. Kelly.
Uno: Fat Joe, Lil Wayne, T.I. Rick Ross & RKELLY
Best line by R. Kelly - "I be drillin' these bitches like Major Payne. When I make it rain they be like do it again"
4 out of 5 R. Zorros for throwing it back to the amazing movie Major Payne.
Dos: JJ Brown - Woozy/I am Love (Ludacris and R. Kelly vs. The Jackson 5)
Best Line by R. Kelly - "So Pretty and So Sweaty and So Sexy and So Ready Girl I'm Suprised you so Nasty."
1 out of 5 R. Zorros because he can do better than this and honestly he knows it.
Tres: R. Kelly - Red Carpet (Pause, Flash)
Best Line: "All I need is my partner. We go together like a hand and glove."
4 out of 5 R. Zorros. That is some deep metphor bidness. Matt your poems got nothing on R. Kellz written words.
Four: R. Kelly - Blow it Up
Best Line: "Fuck what you heard cause Kellz is the realness. Cause we got a lot of ass in the place. Perfect cause I like ass in my face."
5 out of 5 R. Zorros. Those are the most mind altering lyrics ever. He refers to himself as the Kellz (3 out of five R. Zorros) then explains that yes, yes he does indeed love ass in his face. Which is why it is perfect cause there is a lot of ass in the place.
Fiverz: R. Kelly, T.I. and T. Pain - I'm a Flirt
Best Line: "Yeah Yeah homie you say she yo girlfriend but when I step up to her I'm gonna be like cousin"
3 out of 5 R. Zorros. I don't understand what he is saying but seriously...This song is sick.
Six(DeNiNe): Twista Ft. R. Kelly - This is Why I'm Cold
Best Line: "In the club fallin' all over motherfuckers cause I'm intox."
4 out of 5 R. Zorros. Excellent use of the abbreviation of intoxicated. I'm gonna get intox tomorrow.
Seven: Young Jeezy and R. Kelly - Go Getta
Best Line: "Trap all day play all night. This is the life of a go getta"
0 out 5 R. Zorros. This song seriously needs some more information on that Rosie the nosy neighbor. Get with projam R. Kellz!
There you are 7 awesome songs involving one awesome man.
10 comments:
Its official, that's my favorite headline I've ever seen anywhere.
Chu this makes me so happy. You're right about the metfors and the imagery. My favorite is in "Make it Rain": "Where's your umbrella? Now get your raincoat
Baby I make it flood, now you gon' need a boat." Lil' Wayne has a shit load of cum. I also like the Noah reference.
10 out of 5 R. Zorros for Chu.
thank god for this post. i would like to see this is as a staple on our blog is different.
my favorite part is "he can do better than this and honestly he knows it." he was probably getting a BJ while he wrote it tho, so don't be too hard on him.
Matt, making it rain has to do with throwing so many dollars bills at a stripper its like you're "making it rain" on her. Chu is the drizzle, because HE makes it rain.
Jeff, I don't know if you're serious, but I think R. Kelly has a different interpretation: "Skeez skeez skeez! weather man 'bout to make it rain!" makes it pretty clear to me. Did we already talk about this?
Chu does make it rain though.
Also, I don't know who sarah is. Hi sarah.
The Kellz may have a double meaning for "Making it rain". I mean, he's a creative genius. Do you remember Trapped in the Closest Chapter 2 when we find out the pastor is gay!?! I mean, in two seperate chapters we have two meanings for Trapped in the Closet. Genius.
But, it definitely means throwing wads of cash at a stripper. Thats why the chorus talks about hands full of stacks.
Fuck I love this remix and debating its finer points with you, Matt. God bless you, Chu.
I thought he said: "From the club to the poop inside my gates." Then I thought about Dave Chappell and R. Kelly's doo-doo butter. I keep forgetting about Kellz peeing on that girl and then I think about another meaning of "make it rain." Then I get a boner.
I wrote "skeez" and it's "skeet." I learned the meaning of that from Dave Chappell. He bridged race gaps.
I think R. Kelly just heard "make it rain" and thought about ejaculation. Or peeing. And now that I listen to it, everyone else totally understands that it means throwing money excpet for the Kellz.
hi guys. don't mind me, i'll just be marking out about posts i like. and also probably cursing at you. i'm here via chu. and also my mom and dad.
p.s. more poetry!
oh fuck, im crying. more funny please.
Brian,
That was HILARIOUS. Jeffrey even emailed the link so I could sit in my University's library with my boyfriend and laugh my ass off...
ROFL-COPTER!!!!!
Erika (Jeff's little sister)
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