Friday, November 19, 2010

The Emotionally Abusive Relationships of the Harry Potter-verse.

HP 7 pt 1 dropped 5 hours, 7 minutes ago. I'm stuck here. Won't be able to see it until tomorrow. To keep myself psyched, I've been rewatching some of the movies and a couple of things jumped out of me. Most notably the Ron and Hermione relationship.



Their relationship begins with Hermione clearly thinking very little of Ron. She points out his flaws, expects gratitude for it, and is generally condescending. In her defense, dude had dirt on his nose...



...and his wand work was shit, if you know what I mean (in this case, I am actually referring to his ability to use a magic wand). None-the-less though, she's insufferable. He gets fed up and vents to his boy, M.C. H-Pots (the boy with the lyrics that lived), and, oops, she's right there, over hearing every word.

And the rest of their relationship is about Hermione seeking Ron's approval, compromising her principles to help him with his homework or cast confundus charms on his rivals (and, seriously, if its that easy to cheat at Quidditch then what does Middleburry's victory of Tufts* even mean?), skanking it up at the winter dance with an international Quidditch player (who probably cheated more than Middleburry (I'm just kidding, Middleburry, congratulations on your achievement!),



and, when she fails, she cries or conjures swarms of birds, or cries while attacking him with conjured bird swarms.

Unhealthy. Of course, it's the only reason we would ever accept a girl who looks like this:



Throwing herself guy at a fellow who looks like this:




The Ginny-Harry relationship isn't a far sight better, but I'm rapidly growing bored with this, so I'll keep it short. She loves him, fears he won't notice her, so what's she do? Goes out get's herself hooked on horcruxes. Next thing you know, she's laying passed out in a dank dungeon with two dudes, one of whom has a giant snake.



That's Freudian, bitches.

Anyway, then she decides to serial date her way through Harry's friends in the hopes that one day she can be his. Unhealthy. Ah well, it doesn't matter, Harry's got no need for the village bicycle, he's already got a horse.



In related news, I think this was my favorite random pic on google when I searched "Emma Watson."



*footnote: Suck it, Jeff. Middleburry rules!

4 comments:

J*E*F^2 said...

Formal announcement:

This was a good post.

A second formal announcement:

As first time competitors and taking second place in a prestigous Quiditch event, I think those kids should be shunned for playing Quiditch.

The Missed Call Of Cthulhu said...

Ha ha! Yeah, me too. And that's coming from a guy whose wife is dressing up to go see the movie tonight.

your friend ashley said...

i still can't believe they all turned out so good looking. they could have had a real problem on their hands if one of them had been an ug.

your friend ashley said...
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